I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
