nut hugger
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
