you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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