Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
