She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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