my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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