3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
