dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we should paint friendship bongs
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
