mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
