You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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