I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
