we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
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He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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