in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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