I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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