would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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