I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
