I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
