Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
