I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
