I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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