My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
