If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No subtext here. People are naked.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
COCAINE IS GR8
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
