I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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