And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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