So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you never un-have a 4some
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.