Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes