omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She needs sedatives and a leash
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together