I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
