the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
