C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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