No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
