So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
