Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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