i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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