You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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