she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
