Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
