her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is Oprah even human
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
