Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
