i just had sex bonerless
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize