I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
