I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
