there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
