And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
