i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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