so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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