You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
