So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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