She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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