Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
