you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize