he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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