..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
