wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
PS: I just woke up from my shower
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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