I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
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this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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