I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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