HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
