Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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