So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize