Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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